How Are Things?

It certainly has been an adjustment and some difficult days since Sasha passed away. Jameson still asks for a new doggie, but less frequently. Coraline was just looking for Sasha again this morning (and she is speaking in relatively full sentences, so this was “Sasha where are you” or “Sasa aru”), but it is only for a moment.

Jameson always has us all say “We eat” in the third person (so I say: “We eat mommy” and Brian says “We eat daddy”) after prayers. So after Amen, on our first dinner without Sasha, Jameson speaks for himself and Coraline. He said “We eat Jameson, We eat Coraline, and… Sasha’s not here. 1…2…3…4. Just 4 friends now. Why?” The kid is unknowingly heartbreaking.

A couple days after, Brian and I were having a hard time with the empty spaces Sasha left behind, so we moved some of the kids toys and furniture. Jameson really liked the change, but then suggested in the new smaller space we left open that we could get a bed. A small bed, for a new doggie. Luckily, we don’t get those requests as often already, and seeing Aunt Melissa’s new puppy on Saturday helped.

I’ve watched him progress pretty quickly processing Sasha’s death. But the first few times we read the book was hard. He would ask what page Sasha dies in, and when we get a new doggie, can we get Sasha again? That was a hard one. But now the questions have progressed into Heaven, God and Jesus, which is good timing for this season. We have the nativity set out, and I brought out a children’s Bible I bought last summer before he was quite ready. Now we’ve read some of those stories on the weekend.

Unfortunately, we’ll have more sad news to relate to him in a short week when we go to visit my parents. Jameson loved walking their oldest dog Mayzie, one of my childhood pups, but she passed away Tuesday. What a month! But I am happy that we’ll be able to talk about how Mayzie is in Heaven with Sasha (albeit, they were not the best of friends! ha!)

Mayzie always had an almost human grin when her favorite people arrived. The most tolerant dog to my kiddos poking and prodding, and best big sister to Shiloh making sure she didn’t annoy the babies too much. She was protective and loving and made an awesome howl with the harmonica. We got her in May 2001, and she was 14 years old. It’s hard for myself to fully understand she’s gone; when we arrive for Thanksgiving I’m sure I will feel the loss harder.

The weekend before Sasha passed away, I was actually visiting by myself to see the family and take some photos of Mayzie. I thought Mayzie would be going first, but we hadn’t really accepted the reality of Sasha’s illness yet. I loved getting these photos for my parents, it was a nice healing weekend before the hard stuff ahead.







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